Things You Shouldn’t Have to Say to a Toddler

Not having kids of our own, my husband and I spend a lot of time with our niece and nephew, Allie & D. They each have their own little personalities and are total opposites. Allie is such a free spirit that is always having fun and just enjoys life. She’s always been a good listener and is a people-pleaser. Then came D, and man is he lucky he’s cute, because he is a stubborn little thing that just does the exact opposite of anything you tell him. Of course, they are both equally AMAZING, but there is just something about boys that makes you wonder how they’ve made it this far…

With that, I decided to start a list of things that you shouldn’t have to tell a 3 year old boy more than once- or once at all for that matter.

  1. Please don’t eat that chip off the ground, it has ants on it – spoiler alert- he ate the freaking chip
  2. Please don’t put ranch dressing on your sister – this should really not have to be said to anyone
  3. Please don’t purposefully try to run over the dog poop in your power wheels – shocker, he did
  4. Please don’t hug the dog while he’s trying to poop – thank GOD there is a video of this. Bless his little heart, he just loves Max so much and was doing some sort of ring around the rosie with him as he’s trying to poop. And then stops to hug him from behind. Blackmail for future girlfriends…
  5. Please don’t sit right in the dog poop – like there’s a whole yard man… walk around it
  6. Please don’t eat that watermelon off the ground, the dog already chewed it and spit it out – as if there was any question, YES, he did eat that too

My guess is, he does these things on purpose just to see if we are watching or will get all hyped and tell him to stop. He’s a sneaky little thing and always has some mischievous grin going on. I’ve also realized as I’m writing these, that a lot of them having to do with eating things you shouldn’t or dog poop. Is this just a boy thing? A toddler thing? I don’t remember Allie doing any of this and girlfriend certainly was not eating anything off the floor. Though, I will admit both of them are obsessed with locating dog poop in the yard and subsequently telling someone to pick it up. There are tons of videos of this too. Their future dates are doomed for sure, because I can assure you Aunt Ashley will have these videos waiting in the wings the day they try to bring a significant other home for the first time. 

One time Allie actually chose to “help pick up poop” over “help make a birthday cake”… which is a little weird, but hey- you do you girl.

I’m sure there will be lots of things to add to the list. What are some hilarious things your kids say or do? Anything you yell at them and think “omg, I shouldn’t have to yell this!”…

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